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Well Technically...

3/24/2017

 
Hi Readers, it's Miranda! In the following blog my friend Grace shares her experience so far at MIT. Though technical school isn't on the table for everyone, I think its valuable for all those deciding to listen to an inside perspective when a school may have strong stereotypes on the outside. Enjoy!
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In some senses, MIT is exactly what you would expect.


People are nerdy. Like, really nerdy, in all senses and flavors of the word. In various pockets around campus, you can find overwhelming enthusiasm for anything from Dungeons and Dragons to 3D printing, Star Wars to drones, welding to science fiction.


Also, the entire campus is soaked in and defined by numbers. Every building and room has a number, even broom closets and boiler rooms. I had two different lectures in 26-100, and my most-instructive recitation happened in 2-147. The classes are defined by numbers: my schedule last semester was 7.012, 8.01, 18.02, and 21L.009. The majors, or courses, are defined by numbers too. There’s even a rumor that every tree on campus has a number.


All of this seems to fit neatly into the stereotypes associated with technical schools. I expected the nerdiness, and although the widespread use of numbers was unexpected, it hardly came as a surprise.


However, other aspects of MIT came as a surprise.


As I found out, MIT students aren’t infinitely-working machines who run on coffee and ramen and spit out Java and organic chemistry. They don’t speak exclusively in physics formulas, and they haven’t lost the skill of emotional intelligence.


I half-feared that I’d be part of a tiny minority on campus who had any appreciation for art, literature, theatre, and music; as it turns out, almost everyone at MIT is passionate about some sort of humanities subject. My peers aren’t harsh and unfriendly; they’re often kind, hilarious, and silly. 


One of my favorite memories of the year was sitting in a kitchen in my dorm, eating slightly-charred homemade pizza, forgetting about my physics homework, and giggling through a ridiculous game of Scrabble until late into the night. 


Technical school life is definitely not for everyone. The work is intense: it’s easy to spend over an hour working on a single problem only to get it wrong. The amount of information presented in one lecture often feels overwhelming. There’s no getting around the fact that a lot of the work required is concrete problem-solving, which is not everyone’s cup of tea.


However, don’t be afraid that a technical school will squash your “softness.” It is absolutely the norm for students to train technically, and also let their imaginative sides thrive. Rest assured, your creativity, artistic sense, and ability to empathize will not die sad, cold deaths at the hands of an institute of technology. 

2017 Admissions Decisions Roll Out 

3/8/2017

 
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I know! It's intense. Final admissions decisions are rolling out regularly now, and on a daily basis you and your peers are experiencing multiple emotions all at once. It's a tumble of a time.

Keep in mind that the admissions process is mysterious and unpredictable. Each year, my colleagues and I find ourselves facing surprises in the application process. The student who did get in and the student who didn't. One thing we know for sure is that you can never know for sure.

While I know this is a challenge, try to separate any rejections from your sense of self-worth. You can use the surge in feeling to be especially caring of yourself and your friends. See my tips at the end for ideas!


Hold tight! It will all be over by early April, when you can relax and enjoy the excitement of making a final decision. Making this decision isn’t always easy. Many seniors may head out for spring break to tour the colleges that have admitted them. Others may come to a decision after reviewing the pros and cons in each admissions offer.

If you are having trouble deciding, consider these steps:

-- Be holistic. Don't focus on one single thing that you like about the colleges you are considering–the dorms, the internship programs, a professor or student you met. Try to think about the whole picture. Where do you feel that you can be and do your best?

-- Research the happiness rating. Take a careful look at the happiness rating of the schools that have admitted you. You can find this on the student review websites, Unigo or Niche. If you visited the college, then give it your own rating from your real-life perceptions and interactions. Just walking through campus can sometimes provide this feeling that you've found your place.


-- Network. Talk to students from your high school who are now attending the colleges you are considering. Your counseling office may supply the contact information for these students.-- Tune In. Sometimes students opt for the most prestigious college instead of going to the college that makes them feel at ease and in their element. Be careful. You may regret this decision. Ask yourself which campus most excites you as a person. Where do you feel that you will thrive?

-- Pipe up. If you have been deferred or waitlisted at the college you most want to attend, write a letter of renewed intent. (Exception: Do not send a letter if the college admissions office indicates that they do not want any follow up materials.)

-- Think sideways. Discuss the financial differences of your offers. If one offer is significantly less in cost, consider negotiating with your parents. For example, if you go with the more affordable offer, can you use the remaining funds for graduate school or for some other experience that will broaden your experience and worldview?

-- Negotiate. If you have been offered financial or merit aid at one college, but not at the college you most want to attend, contact admissions at the more desired college and ask them if they can match the award. Yes! You can do this.

As for getting through these next few weeks, here are some helpful tips:

-- Have faith! Come May 1st, you will be joyfully committed to the new path before you.


-- Reset. The emotional rollercoaster can take its toll. Do not fall prey to senioritis which can reverse admissions decisions. Instead, find a way to reset and get some perspective!
 - Choose gratitude. Write a letter of appreciation to yourself, to a friend,   parent or teacher. There is a lot of evidence out there that diving into your sense of gratitude–for your life and the people in it–can quickly heals pain and grief.
 - Grab a friend and go out for a treat or go somewhere you haven’t been--perhaps you can do both at Voyage du Temps Cafe in Los Altos.
 
- Relax for a few hours at Immersion Spa where you can soak for $25.
 
- Get natural! Take a long hike in Purisima Redwoods, walk at Half Moon Beach or bike the Baylands.
 
- 
Get out of town. Take the train up to San Francisco and explore the Ferry Building.

Making Friends in College is a Challenge      (and that's okay)

3/1/2017

 
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Before I arrived to college I had a lot of fantasies about the dream world that was about to become my life. No parents around, no looming college admission process, and new & perfect friends. The thing is: transitioning to college is difficult for everyone. Everyone. Even the beer bros, even the people on your newsfeed who look like they’re having a smashing time.

Something I never thought about before I got to college was how you are starting off with virtually no close relationships at your new home. I was really blindsided by the fact that living amongst, what starts as, strangers can feel really uncomfortable and lonely. Your peers in high school, whether you loved or despised them, were very familiar by the end of four years if not your whole life. College drops you off with nobody to love or hate and it’s really hard to remember how you even obtain friends in the first place.

When the first week hit, everybody sprinted to groups and clung onto them like those sweet college lanyards they hand out. For me, this rapid formation put me in a state of panic. Everybody seemed to have figured out everything in a matter of a week and I seemed to be losing my key card while the sorting hat organized everyone into their respective groups. This delusion I created for myself ignored the fact that change is inevitable and I really can’t judge how other friendships seem from the outside. Some people really do find those they connect with right away, don’t we all have our coveted *first friend in college* who may turn out to be a total wacko or a lifelong friend (or both.) But the truth is, there’s no telling right at the start. Chances are, a lot of people were feeling just as lost and mixed around as I was. It makes sense not to have close friends right outta the gate, because close friendships are like slow-cooked pork: they need time to get juicy!

Being able to walk away from first semester with even one or two friends who actually support you and want to get to know better is a feat and all we can really ask for. Although it’s not lovely to admit, starting college is a time of judgement and insecurity (the two are friends after all.) I still have to remind myself not to write people off right away, or panic that I haven’t met the entire student body (“my best friend could be walking around out there and I’m just sitting here with these chums!”). Try to reach out to all kinds of people: you’ve got a whole new playground to find people different from yourself and learn from them. Feel free to distance yourself from people who don’t make you feel welcome or valid: although friendships seem life or death when you seem to be only wrangling a few, don’t hide yourself away with a friend that doesn’t make you feel good and yourself.

And so with that, first semester was a really tricky balance of telling myself YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS and then THAT’S REALLY ACTUALLY OKAY. And no matter where you are, I hope you can pull up a chair in that sentiment, if only for a moment. Starting college can be a hot mess. Being able to accept the difficulty, with friends and so many other things, was my first step to gaining comfort and happiness. Somehow we arise out of the rubble, taking our loses and grasping onto a couple wins: and keep making it work. And when you’re feeling particularly disheartened, just remember there’s always another fallen soldier out there doing desperate laps around the dining hall trying to find where to sit (re: WHERE ARE YOU?)  ​

    Felicia Fahey PhD

    Felicia is a comprehensive educational consultant. She works with college bound students of all ages close to home, across the country and around the globe.

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